Self-esteem is the good feeling a person has about themselves. It is a crucial part of a child’s personal development. Self-esteem is nurtured across a person’s lifetime, but it begins in childhood. When a child feels good about themselves, they have confidence in what they do each day.
During the past few decades, a stronger emphasis has been put on self esteem in children. Why is this so? Parents and child experts understand the impact a strong sense of self-esteem has on a child. Fortunately, you are in a prime position to make this happen. Learn more about why self-esteem is important and what you can do to improve your child's sense of self-esteem.
Key Points
- There are many things you can do to improve your child's self-esteem, such as praising them for their achievements and giving them chores.
- Low self-esteem can have a number of consequences on a child's mental health.
- Keep a watch on your child to ensure they don't become arrogant.
How to Improve Your Child's Self-Esteem
As a parent, you have a great deal of influence on your child’s self-esteem. The home environment you create teaches your children what to expect from themselves. Giving encouragement and emphasizing strengths will help your children develop their talents and skills. Put-downs and emotional neglect stifles this development, leading children to assume the worst about their capabilities and personal worth.
Every human being needs to believe they are part of something good, that they have unique value, and that they belong. As a parent, you need to monitor how you interact with your children. Do you say something when they do well, or do you make comments only when they do something wrong? Do you help each of your children understand the value of diversity, or you openly favor one child’s talents and interests over your other child’s?
Self-esteem is created when people have meaningful or admirable accomplishments. When you over-praise a child for each tiny action, you dilute the potency of your attention. The focus shifts toward getting the “treat” by doing a “trick” for the parent. You want your child to enjoy the internal reward, the feeling of personal satisfaction. Timing your praise well and reducing excessive criticism will help you strike a good balance.
Create an environment where your children feel that they belong. Everyone has a special place in the family, and each person is valuable. School classmates can be cruel at times. Teachers sometimes give too much criticism to kids in their class. Your children may feel as if they can’t do anything right for anyone. Be sure your home is a place your children know they belong, no matter what. This makes it easier for them to cope with occasional feelings of loneliness and rejection.
Build a sense of a “family team” in your home. Give age-appropriate chores to each of your children. Doing work for the good of all develops a child’s sense of purpose in a group. The ability to cooperate is essential to every family’s survival. Children will learn what to do when they grow older and build their own families. When everyone works together, each person makes deposits in his or her self-esteem bank.
Self-esteem is just one part of a child’s character. The stronger a child’s self-esteem is, the more easily he or she can handle the normal bruises of life. Children who think more highly of themselves are better equipped to make good choices. You are a mirror for your child; reflect the best of what is inside them.
How to Deal With Too Much Self-Esteem
With how good self-esteem is for your child's health and development, you may think that there's no such thing as too much of it. Too much of anything is a bad thing, and that includes self-esteem. Extremely high self-esteem can turn into arrogance, which isn't a good thing.
An arrogant child may brag constantly about their achievements, talk about how they're better than their peers, be resistant to constructive criticism, or assume they should always get their way. An arrogant child can be an annoyance for their peers and a difficulty for teachers and parents. In addition, arrogance can set a child up with unrealistic expectations of life. This will cause them to handle setbacks poorly.
If your child has become arrogant, there are things you can do. First, make sure you aren't over-praising your child. Giving your child praise is great, but putting them on a pedestal and only ever talking about how good they are will actually hurt them. It's important that your child is made to face their mistakes and flaws, so that they can improve. Do not be mean or unnecessarily harsh to your child, but do ensure that they don't get the impression from you that they are perfect or always right.
Don't entertain any unreasonable demands from your child or let them get away with poor behavior. Doing either of these things will only worsen existing arrogance, or lead to its development in a child who isn't currently arrogant. Set boundaries for your child, and discipline them firmly but fairly when they act inappropriately. Do not let them brag excessively, and discipline them if they begin to talk as if they are better than those around them.
Humility is just as important as good self-esteem. Balance is everything when it comes to your child's development. If your child is either suffering from low self-esteem or arrogance, it's important that you take steps to correct it. Always treat your child fairly, and remember that their feelings are important, too.