I Gave Birth to My Second Child in the Car – Here’s What I learned

No matter how many children you have, those first few moments immediately after giving birth are life-changing. You see your baby's face for the first time as oxytocin (aka the love hormone) rises, creating an unforgettable moment of bliss. I’ll never forget the first words I said after any of my babies were born, but I never expected the first words after having my son to be, “I can’t believe I just gave birth in the car.”

I didn’t expect to catch him myself while my husband desperately tried to pull over on the side of the road. I didn’t expect to wrap him in my husband’s leather jacket and pull him close to me, while we drove the rest of the way to the birth center. I certainly didn’t expect his birth certificate, once it finally arrived, to say, “en route.”

But that’s motherhood, isn’t it? Full of unexpected challenges and surprises that ultimately shape us into the women we are – the women who are strong and brave enough to raise the children entrusted to us. We don’t have control over many things in life, and these unexpected things, whether they’re challenges or blessings, often teach us the most valuable lessons.

The Disappointment of Shattered Expectations

Even though I’d given birth before, that first contraction hit like an unwelcome visitor banging down my door. “Yikes,” I thought. Was that more intense than the contractions from last time or did I forget what labor was like?

I later realized it was the former, since contractions usually intensify after your water breaks. With my first, I labored for nearly 15 hours before my midwife artificially broke my water.

But the contractions were the least of my worries at that point. 

When my water broke at 5 a.m., I knew there was no delaying it any longer — our baby was coming. And as soon as that realization hit me, I looked at my husband, tears running down my face, and said, “I don’t think I can do this without you.”

I could feel the panic rising as I realized my husband, currently sick and quarantined, couldn’t come with me.

It didn’t seem fair. Couldn’t our baby have just stayed in there a week longer?

How can my husband not be there for the birth of his son?

At the time, my husband and I were both teachers, and even though it was 2022, COVID was still spreading rapidly throughout schools. My only goal during that pregnancy was to keep us both healthy long enough for me to have my baby, but a week before he was born, my husband was stuck at home with the virus.

Throughout my second pregnancy, I visualized the perfect birth. I pictured myself in the birthtub, my husband rubbing my shoulders and gently stroking my hair. I pictured my husband catching our baby, while I maintained my peaceful, tranquil state like I did when our first was born. None of my visuals included me leaning over the center console in our car, cursing the four-way stops on the way to the birth center.

My Calm in the Chaos

As my husband spoke to the midwife early that morning, there was no urgency in her voice. She said she “wasn’t sure” if my water had really broken and told me to eat some breakfast and lie back down.

Considering fluid was gushing out of me – even as I was lying down – I was able to convince her otherwise. My husband moved swiftly around the house, preparing everything I needed before putting the final bags in the car.

I rested my head on the back of the toilet, or the dilation station as it’s known in the birth world. My biggest goal during this labor was to avoid tearing the way I did with my first, and I was determined to remember that I would know when it was time.

So when I started to feel the urge to push sitting there in the bathroom, I thought, “Uh oh.”

Getting my midwife on the phone, she only asked, “Can you see the head?”

And then, with a growing sense of urgency, “You need to get in the car. But you have to hurry.”

Contractions were so strong at that point that I could barely stand. I told my husband repeatedly that I was not, in fact, getting in the car. That I couldn’t get in the car.

Instead of arguing with me, he calmly found some towels, ready to catch our baby right there in our living room if he had to. He was the ultimate manifestation of calm amid chaos – but by some miracle, I eventually made my way to my spot in the front seat, hoping the short drive to the birth center didn’t feel too long.

Short On Time

Our destination was only 10 minutes away, so there was no way we wouldn’t make it, right? But it was the longest car ride of my life, as I screamed and tried to fight the urge to push – in vain, of course, because my body didn’t care that I was in the car. Our son was coming.

In what seemed like mere seconds while simultaneously feeling like an eternity, my husband pulled over into a parking lot, just in time for our son to make his appearance and me to catch him.

“I can’t believe I just gave birth in the car.”

The pain from only moments earlier immediately turned to relief and an overwhelming feeling of joy. I cried, my husband smiled, and our 4-year-old daughter probably sat in shock in the backseat as my husband got the midwife on the phone once again.

He didn’t have to tell her what happened. She could clearly hear our son’s first, beautiful cry in the background.

So with our new baby boy in my arms, my husband drove the remaining five minutes to the birth center, got us settled, and left to take some serious peroxide to the seat of our car.

Unexpected Challenges Can Be a Blessing

If you had asked me what my ideal birth experience looked like, it certainly didn’t include giving birth in the front of a Toyota 4Runner. Any woman who has given birth without an epidural can imagine just how uncomfortable sitting in the front seat would be, but at the end of the day, this unexpected challenge was a blessing in disguise.

That morning, my husband and I thought I would have to give birth without him there, but this unexpected challenge led to him being present for the birth of our son. As someone who struggles to let go of things she can’t control, I was reminded that my worries and anxieties don’t change the outcome.

Many people will tell you that birth can be unpredictable. But as moms, we know that every other area of our lives can be unpredictable as well. Sometimes, we have no choice but to trust that things will work out in the end.

The image featured at the top of this post is ©hedgehog94/Shutterstock.com.