Everything You Need to Know About Authoritarian Parenting

Have you ever been told that you should do something just because you were told to? If so, you may have had an authoritarian parent, and that may have impacted everything from your academic performance to your social interactions. Now, it might even impact the way you treat your own children.

Psychologists have identified four main parenting styles: Authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful, says an article from the Mayo Clinic. While most parents have their own mix of styles, many fall predominantly into one style, which may have advantages and disadvantages for their family and kids. Keep reading as we dive into the advantages and disadvantages of authoritarian parenting.

What is Authoritarian Parenting?

Authoritarian parenting is the strictest style of parenting. It means parents enforce strict rules and give punishments or strict consequences for breaking the rules. Often, children aren't given context or an explanation for these rules – they're just made and enforced. Kids of authoritarian parents are held to high standards and may live in fear of punishment if they don't live up to the standards. Over the past several decades, psychologists have steered parents away from this style of parenting, favoring the less harsh authoritative parenting as the best way to raise kids.

What are the Disadvantages of Authoritarian Parenting?

Because they've been raised with only the option of following the rules available to them, the children of authoritarian parents often lack decision-making skills. When situations arise that don't have clear right and wrong or good and bad choices, kids often don't know what to do or how to navigate the different choices.

Children of authoritarian parents can also display low self-esteem. After being punished every time they make a mistake, they live in fear that they'll do something wrong. This can lead to not thinking they're good enough or smart enough to pursue certain paths. Also, because kids with authoritarian parents are often shown less empathy when they're growing up, they don't develop as much empathy themselves, which can hinder their ability to make friends.

In some cases, children of authoritarian parents can be rebellious. They become tired of always following the rules and no longer care about the consequences, wanting to make their own choices or deliberately defy their parents instead. It's not just their parents they might rebel against, however. These children might rebel against all authority figures from teachers to other family members.

While you might think kids with authoritarian parents would do better academically, that isn't always the case. Studies found that kids with authoritarian parents were less likely to try their own methods to find the answers to questions. Because their parents never express their own uncertainty about facts, even when they are wrong, these kids don't know how to find the solution if they are uncertain. They can be less inclined to try different methods, like looking up an answer or asking a teacher for help. Also, researchers found that kids respond better to positive feedback when they do well than they do to negative feedback for performing poorly.

Are There Any Advantages to Authoritarian Parenting?

While authoritarian parenting is often viewed as harsh and old-fashioned, there can be some advantages for kids and families, says a post on Wellspring Prevention. Children of authoritarian parents have clear and defined boundaries – they know what the rules are and are willing to follow them. This can help them be more organized and disciplined than peers raised with other parenting styles.

Kids with authoritarian parents often see safety as non-negotiable. They're the ones wearing the bike helmet, not climbing on the roof of the playhouse, and staying in when their friends are sneaking out.

How Can You Avoid Becoming an Authoritarian Parent?

Many parents who are currently raising children were raised in households with authoritarian parents. It can be hard to break the cycle, especially if you think you turned out just fine with your parents' style, or if it's valued within your culture. If you want to avoid being an authoritarian parent, start by reading up on authoritative parenting. This style is similar in that there are still established rules, but both rules and consequences make sense and are discussed with your kids first. Make sure that you're not using “because I said so” as an explanation for why your kid should or should not do something.

Authoritative parents also use positive reinforcement to help guide kids into making the right decision. This means rewarding your kids when they do something well and making sure you allow your child some autonomy. Whenever possible, give them opportunities to make choices for themselves. Listen to your kids so you can figure out how to support them and guide them toward good decisions so that they can develop confidence and independence.

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