Are These Japanese Parenting Tactics Better Than How Americans Raise Children?

Japan

As of 2025, Japan is the eleventh-most populous country, with a population of more than 123 million. Japan is made up of four main islands: Kyushu, Hokkaido, Shikoku, and Honshu, along with thousands of smaller islands.

Japan has an alliance of security with the United States, with which it has close military and economic ties.

The tactics used in Japanese households have drawn attention to Japanese parents and how they raise their children. These parents focus on self-regulation, independence, respect, and discipline. These methods differ from traditional Western approaches. Let’s take a look at a few examples.

1. Family Dynamics

Nuclear families are most common in Japanese culture; however, there are extended families too. Extended families are families with three generations living together. Often, meals are eaten together and traditional food is important. Social harmony, politeness, and modesty are also important in Japanese culture.

2. Understanding Proximal Parenting Style

The proximal parenting style is linked to extended and regular body touch between the mother and the child. In Japan, this is the most common style of parenting. It’s normal for the mother and child to co-bathe and co-sleep together.

One survey found that for the first two years of life, Japanese mothers were only away from their babies for two hours a week while American parents would spend 24 hours away. In Japanese culture, it’s not common for parents to get babysitters or go on vacation without taking the baby with them.

3. Understanding Distal Parenting Style

Next, we have the distal parenting style. According to a 2009 study, this style focuses more on facial expression, eye contact, verbal communication, and the use of objects to interact. This type of parenting is the distance between the parent and the child. It occurs more in Western, modern, and urban culture families. Distal parenting is not that common in Japan.

4. Individualism vs. Collectivism

Many Western countries, such as the United States, Australia, and South Africa, are considered individualistic cultures. This is because they often prioritize individualism and personal achievement. Many Asian countries, like Japan, are considered collective cultures. This is because they follow social norms and prioritize the needs of group harmony instead of the needs of an individual.

5. Responsibility and Self-Discipline

Japanese children are instilled with responsibility and self-discipline from a young age. This teaches them to manage their own behavior and make good decisions in life. It teaches them to value and work hard to achieve their goals.

6. Independence

Japanese parents allow their children to take on tasks independently. This teaches them important skills, how to solve problems, and will enable them to take on challenges with confidence.

7. Screen Time

The government of Kagawa said that children’s marks had been dropping in school. A new law has been passed limiting screen time for children under 18. The new rule states that children can only play video games for 90 minutes on holidays and weekends and 60 minutes on school days. However, the government doesn’t know if these rules are being followed.

8. Community and Extended Family

The Japanese have very strong ties with their community. The extended family and community play an important role in raising children. This support and guidance help the children to feel connected.

9. Cleaning Time

In Japan, cleaning time is implemented at home and school. It is considered good manners and consideration towards others. Next, cleaning time helps children develop their social abilities and clear their minds. In the schools, children are put in groups of four or six and given roles to clean the group’s swap areas each week, and it usually takes 5-15 minutes to do.

10. Academics

Finally, the Japanese are very focused on their children’s academics. Compared to many other countries, these students have longer school days and often attend after-school activities. The education system is highly competitive, which is why they have to study so hard. This can put a lot of pressure on the children.