The Signs of Puberty in Girls That Every Mom Needs to Know

Over the last 55 years, the signs of puberty have appeared earlier and earlier. In 2024, JAMA Network Open conducted a study that recorded data about menarche from more than 70,000 women. Their findings revealed adolescent females as young as 10 years old experience their first periods.

If you have a daughter who hasn't hit puberty yet, knowing the early signs is important so that you can be prepared to support her when the time comes. Keep reading to find out more about the psychology behind puberty and some of the earliest signs in young girls.

Understanding the Psychology Behind Puberty

Growing up as a girl in today's world is a challenging experience. It feels impossible to distinguish between society's added pressure, social media standards, and the world's perception of who you should be. As a mom, understanding the changes happening in your daughter's body can put you at ease as you help her navigate this important time in her life.

Jordan Conrad, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., and Founder and Clinical Director of Madison Park Psychotherapy, gave us the rundown on everything happening during puberty. “It is sometimes hard to appreciate the significance of this period for kids, and the physical aspects of puberty are just one part,” says Conrad. “Many kids at this age become more responsive to what is ‘cool' and what is ‘popular' and try to model themselves after kids that seem that way. It is a natural time to start engaging in what is sometimes called ‘perception management' — or, controlling how other people perceive you. After all, your body is changing, there are new kids, sports and school are getting more serious – it makes sense to try to reinvent yourself a little bit.”

It’s not uncommon for the first signs of puberty to be psychological. Mood swings, stark changes in self-esteem, and outward behavior toward family and friends are all mile markers. 

During puberty, estrogen, gonadotropins, and adrenal hormones are elevated, causing outward physical changes that can sometimes be obvious. However, many of these changes can manifest as behavioral changes or significant differences in your daughter's personality.

“In middle school, adults start looking more closely, and kids feel that,” Conrad explains. “You may have liked math in fifth grade, but in sixth grade, you might have a teacher trying to sort you into an advanced class or a remedial class; soccer was fun, and you were good at it, but now practices are more serious, and coaches and parents expect more from you.

“As a result, kids tend to form more stratified social groups around this time: you become a smart kid or a jock or a popular kid or the class clown. In many cases, kids move from relatively small elementary schools to larger middle schools, feeding into even larger high schools, meaning that a whole new set of people is also judging you!”

Conrad also details that this can be a time of upheaval for your daughter. Friendships become broken, fitting in is tough, and interests change. From a psychological point of view, this can have an effect on girls that often goes unrealized and even unnoticed.

“That leaves many girls walking on eggshells, needing to manage not only their parent's expectations and classwork, but another whole world of micro-indicators of status,” says Conrad. This perception of how an adolescent girl fits into the social world around her might be a sign that menarche is already in play, and her period is not far behind. 

The Physical Signs of Puberty

Aside from the psychological symptoms and mood changes a young girl might experience, puberty causes a slew of physical symptoms. These changes are often uncomfortable but shouldn't be unexpected. Here’s how each one shows up during the earliest stages of menarche. 

Body Hair

As more hormones in the body are released, peach fuzz is replaced by darker, coarser hair. During puberty, hair can grow anywhere – from the underarms to the genitals. This is an early sign that your body is changing! Girls may want to start shaving, so it’s important to have a conversation on how to do so safely. 

Height Increases or Growth Spurts

The biggest weight increases for girls happen during puberty. This is typically when growth spurts happen, and girls seemingly find they’ve gained several inches overnight. It’s normal to see sudden changes in height since additional growth is rarely seen after a girl’s teenage years. 

More Feminine Curves

Puberty changes many aspects of the human body, including hips and height. Getting taller is perfectly normal but may not happen to every girl, at least not immediately. Girls will also notice their hips widening in proportion to their waist, which may seem smaller. 

Breast Budding

There’s no part of puberty that any girl should be ashamed of, including breast budding. Breasts often grow at different rates and feel sore or achy for some time during puberty. When this happens, it never hurts to have a conversation about bras and other changes that will soon follow. 

Acne and Skin Changes

Unfortunately, acne is a common symptom of puberty due to the increase in hormones and dealing with acne can be incredibly challenging for adolescents. Conversations about good hygiene, face washing, and self-esteem are key to surviving this phase. 

Periods

Perhaps one of the scariest parts of puberty for girls is the day Aunt Flo arrives. No matter how many conversations you have with your daughter about periods, it may still be a surprise on that first day. Creating a safe space with no shame is a great way to be supportive. Despite how uncomfortable it may feel in the moment, this will reaffirm that puberty is a normal part of growing up.

Anxiety is Directly Related to Puberty — Here's How You Can Help

An unfortunate side effect of puberty is often anxiety, which can manifest in many different ways. It rears its ugly head during mood swings or surfaces as your child needs more space than usual. It's normal to experience during this time — but it doesn't need to be a problem without a solution.

Conrad explains that social anxiety is more prevalent among adolescent girls, although it's less recognized. It can also predict academic underachievement, weaker social relationships, and poorer social skills. “Unfortunately, there is substantial evidence suggesting that social anxiety increases as puberty progresses. This is also largely true for depression—it is more common in adolescent girls than in boys and tends to worsen as pubertal development continues.”

While anything can trigger anxiety during puberty, Conrad explains that sometimes it's truly an inevitable part of the process. “Interestingly, unlike social anxiety and depression—both of which are strongly linked to environmental factors such as smartphones, social media, and volatile friend groups—adolescent mood swings are not always related to stress, social problems, or inner turmoil but appear to be a natural part of adolescence.”

This highlights why therapy can play a vital role in navigating puberty. It might even look like regular visits with your daughter's school counselor. “As with many things, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” says Conrad.

Therapy Can Offer Neutral, Yet Steady Support

Mood swings, lashing out, or even girls distancing themselves from family are not uncommon during puberty. Turning to their parents for support might feel awkward or uncomfortable. Therefore, girls naturally gravitate more toward their friends during this time. So, we wanted to know what to do if this behavior seems abnormal or if parents find their daughters isolated.

“Kids, especially when they crest into teenagers, become much more interested in their phones and their friends than their parents, but parents should watch out for their child becoming increasingly isolated,” Conrad says, adding that it can be challenging today since teens are more likely to spend time on their phones or alone in their rooms. However, some subtle indicators are red flags for parents to watch out for.

“If they seem angry or sad more often than usual, or if you hear from your daughter or other parents or teachers about big changes in friend groups, that can give you hints that things aren't going so well.”

Conrad goes on to say that, in any case, therapy can often be a strong support during puberty. It provides a neutral ground on which tweens can express how they feel in a safe space. This also removes societal and peer pressure, which can cause stress.

“A therapist might be the only person in your life at that time who doesn't need you to be any particular way other than who you naturally are,” says Conrad. He adds that the lack of pressure can allow walls to fall away, inviting teens into a space where they can simply be themselves and no one forces them to communicate or behave in any certain way.

The image featured at the top of this post is ©Halfpoint/Shutterstock.com.