14 Parenting Myths That Might Be Doing More Harm Than Good

Do you remember reading "The Little House on the Prairie" books? In one of the books, Laura mentions that a common rule during her time was "children should be seen but not heard." Children today may have a hard time fathoming this social rule. However, we can see from history that through the decades, parenting styles and ideas have come and gone. Yet, some parenting myths have way more staying power than they should. This article will explore common parenting myths that may cause more harm than good.

Just a quick look at history shows that parenting has changed in several ways throughout generations, even from decade to decade. These ways include parenting goals, access to information, and parental involvement. However, so many parenting myths continue to make their way from generation to generation, even though these myths may actually be more harmful than good. Let's take a look at several common ones that continue to live on.

If a young mom feels nervous about parenting their child, they may be met with well-meaning advice. "Oh, don't worry, parenting comes naturally" may just be spoken by your well-meaning elderly neighbor. But just because it's a common saying doesn't make it true. Some parents are natural; others simply aren't.

This myth can lead to parents feeling like failures and putting unrealistic expectations on themselves. Parenting is actually a learned skill that may take time and effort for some.

One myth that keeps popping up even after being debunked is that vaccines cause autism. Childhood vaccinations were developed to protect against several potentially deadly diseases. Autism, on the other hand, is connected to the brain development of a person and genetics.

This myth came to life when a 1998 study made this suggestion. However, since then, the person who wrote this study had their medical license revoked, and the study was retracted. During the time after, several studies have debunked this myth.

Children are people deserving of respect just like any adult. There is a misconception that children should respect all adults but are not deserving of the same respect. We can see this in examples of children being expected to give hugs and kisses to those who make them uncomfortable.

Additionally, the idea that children should respect all adults could put them in a dangerous situation that may lead to an adult hurting them. A child is not spoiled or selfish if you give them respect and autonomy. Instead, it will teach a child that their mind and intuition are important.

Furthermore, we should teach our children how to spot safe adults and that they themselves deserve respect.

'Oh, kids are resilient." have you ever heard this? This myth simply isn't true. Sure, kids can become resilient when they have a strong support system in place. However, when exposed to adverse childhood experiences it can actually cause great harm, not resilience.

These stresses and trauma can affect a child in several ways. They may be more likely to participate in harmful activities like unsafe sex or drug use. If you have never heard of ACEs and how they affect a person's future, read more about them here.

This is a well-meaning myth. Yet, it can be harmful to parents who actually believe this. Your child's needs should always be at the forefront of your mind. However, you can't neglect yourself and compromise your health in the name of parenting. Being the best parent you can mean you need to care for your own physical and mental health.

Oh, the terrible twos. While it's meant to encourage parents, this myth can give a mindset that is not helpful. During the twos, toddlers' minds are taking in so much information. Just think about where your toddler was even just a year before. However, through these twos, toddlers are learning independence and communication.

This means that tantrums are simply a normal part of development. Is this time challenging for parents? Yes. However, this time is also difficult for your fast-growing toddler who is learning so much about their world.

Sometimes, parents are hesitant to give their children the necessary medication for disorders like anxiety, depression, or ADHD because they believe the lie that doing so makes them lazy parents. However, these disorders and more are more common in children than people would like to believe.

If your child needs medication to help them in life, then why knowingly deny it from them? Disorders like anxiety in teens is common, but it is also treatable in a number of ways.

This common belief has been debunked several times. Sugar doesn't equal hyperactivity. However, consuming too much sugar can still have adverse health effects, so it's still a good idea to eat it in moderation.

This myth can be harmful to both children and parents. There is no right way to be the perfect parent and many ways to be a good parent. Experience, grace, and time will help you find what works for your family. If we buy into the lie that there's only one way to parent, we put immense pressure on ourselves, which can affect not only our parenting but also our families. But the truth is, every family is different, and every child is different.

Hold them too much. Pick them up when they cry. Respond right away. Give them too much love and attention. Young infants are not developmentally able to understand cause and effect. You can't spoil your baby if you hold them, pick them up, and respond immediately. Besides, time goes by too fast. Hold the baby. Love and affection have the opposite effect; they show children they are valued and build self-esteem.

Strict- parenting doesn't create well-behaved children. It is possible to be firm but loving, consistent but warm. When a child grows up with authoritarian parents, they are more likely to rebel. Additionally, they may feel ignored and degraded.

This actually dates back to a Proverb found in the Bible. Interpretations of this verse lead some parents to believe it means spanking or harsh punishment. However, discipline doesn't necessarily mean punishment.

The AAP actually advises parents to refrain from spanking or physical punishment because it can cause more harm. It can lead to an increase in low self-esteem, mental health disorders, and aggression.

While some fear is normal childhood development, not all fear is just a stage. Anxiety in children is actually a very real concern and should never just be dismissed. Dismissal of this fear may lead a child to grow more anxious. It's our responsibility as parents to help children tackle any fears they may have with coping mechanisms, support, and possibly even consulting a health professional.

Have you ever heard "there's starving children in Africa, clear your plate." This mentality can cause children to learn to ignore their internal voice of being full, develop an unhealthy relationship with food, and gain weight.