The role of a wife can look vastly different from one family to the next. Some wives and mothers work outside the home while others stay at home with the kids. Some husbands and wives share responsibilities around the house while others choose more traditional roles that include wives doing most of the cooking and cleaning.
Even though we live in a society where women can work outside the home, some women choose to take on the role of homemaker instead of pursuing a career. There are plenty of women who have fulfilled these traditional roles for years, but this type of role didn’t become trendy until the rise of the tradwife.
In the broadest sense, a tradwife is a woman who fulfills more traditional roles in the home, such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children. For some, the rise of the tradwife is inspirational, for others it’s controversial — but what is a tradwife, and is this the right role for you? Keep reading to find out more about this trend and where it all started.
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What Is a Tradwife?
Although there was a time when women couldn’t work outside the home or pursue any ambitions outside of motherhood, women have come a long way in the past hundred years.
Considering how much things have changed for women over the past century, many people are baffled as to why any woman would choose a lifestyle of traditional gender norms, especially when there are so many other options out there. However, the rise in the trend of the tradwife shows that some women believe there’s more to life than climbing the corporate ladder.
The term tradwife stands for traditional wife. Simply put, a tradwife is a woman who follows traditional gender roles in the home such as staying home with the kids, cooking, and cleaning. However, in most cases online, the term tradwife doesn’t just describe a woman who chooses to stay home with her children. The tradwife trend, which was popularized by social media influencers, also includes a certain aesthetic.
A typical tradwife isn’t just a woman who stays at home with her kids. She is passionate about serving her husband, makes everything from scratch, and in many cases, wears 1950s-inspired clothing. This lifestyle has become more popular in recent years as some traditional women have started to share a glimpse of their lifestyle through social media.
Where Did This Term Come From?
It’s not entirely clear where or when the term “tradwife” was first used, but we know that it first appeared in online forums. One example is the Red Pill Women subreddit, where the term first made the rounds in 2013.
The term tradwife also started appearing in other online forums in the 2010s, and there was a significant increase in online searches for the term “tradwife” between 2018 and 2020. There have been many places online where people used the term in a positive way. In other forums, tradwife has developed a negative connotation.
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Why Are Tradwives Controversial?
Some people are enamored with the tradwife lifestyle while others find it to be highly controversial and offensive. For those who believe the trend is controversial, it’s usually due to a belief that the values promoted by tradwives undo the work of feminism and push women back to a time when they didn’t have the same rights as men.
Since those who make up the “tradwife movement” tend to be conservative, there are also some critics who have claimed that the tradwife movement is connected to the alt-right and white supremacy.
Reddit user u/FireworkFuse commented on a thread about tradwives, saying, “The trad wife trend is typically perpetrated by conservatives who lament the feminist movement and want subservient women who stay at home and raise a family rather than participate in the workforce. Think 1950s housewife stereotypes, bruises and all.”
What Do Critics Say About Tradwives?
Aside from some of the theories about the impact of the tradwife movement or its connections to political movements, many are against this lifestyle simply because they believe we should encourage women to pursue college and a career instead of taking on the role of homemaker.
While some critics claim that tradwives present staying home as a wife and mom as the only option for women, there are many traditional wives online who are more accepting of other choices in motherhood. Their goal is to give the homemaker lifestyle the recognition they believe it deserves.
Popular Tradwives Online
Since the tradwife movement has grown because of social media, looking at some popular tradwives online can give a better idea of what this trend is about. On its face, the tradwife movement glamorizes both the lifestyle of women and the aesthetic of the home in the 1950s.
On the social media accounts of most self-proclaimed tradwives, you’ll find content of them making picturesque meals for their family, cooking in pristine kitchens, and even wearing vintage-style clothing that would make Donna Reed proud.
While it’s not the case for all online tradwives, many only post pictures and videos of themselves when they’re dressed up and their makeup is pristine. One example of this is self-proclaimed tradwife Estee Williams, who talks online about the importance of getting dolled up for your husband before he comes home from work.
Queen of the Tradwives
Recently, “The Times” published an article about Hannah Neeleman, known often by her Instagram handle, Ballerina Farm. Even the title of the article claimed Neeleman was “the queen of the trad wives.” Neeleman is the mother of eight children, a trained Julliard dancer, and a former Mrs. American. Despite the author calling her one of the most well-known tradwives online, Neeleman claimed in “The Times” interview that she doesn’t identify with the movement.
If you browse through Ballerina Farm’s Instagram page, there’s no doubt that her page has a specific aesthetic. She has filled her feed with pretty dresses, beautiful family photos, and videos of her baking and cooking for her family. However, Hannah’s lifestyle isn’t that of a typical 1950s housewife. Along with raising her kids, she works on their farm, competes in pageants, and runs a successful business.
Even though many critics claim tradwives are undoing the work of feminism, many believe that Hannah Neeleman's lifestyle proves that women can do it all. Neeleman may stay home with her kids and make beautiful meals, but she also runs a business and pursues her other passions.
Tradwife vs. Stay at Home Mom: Is There a Difference?
Although at its core, the tradwife movement may be about prioritizing your family and staying home with your kids, you might wonder, is there a difference between a tradwife and a stay-at-home mom?
Considering the movement was primarily popularized by social media influencers, most stay-at-home moms likely wouldn’t consider themselves “tradwives.” Women choose to stay at home with their children for numerous reasons and even if their main reason might be prioritizing their family, not all stay-at-home moms bake sourdough bread or cook made-from-scratch meals in vintage dresses.
Some moms stay at home with their children but don’t necessarily hold the values that many tradwives promote online. A stay-at-home mom is a woman who chooses to stay at home with her kids instead of working outside the home. A tradwife is a type of stay-at-home mom, but not all stay-at-home moms are tradwives.
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Is the Tradwife Lifestyle for You?
There are many opinions about the tradwife trend online, both positive and negative, but there isn’t one definition for what a tradwife actually is. Most people use the term to describe a woman who holds to traditional gender roles and norms while she stays home with her kids. Estee Williams defined the role in a TikTok video as “a woman who prefers to take a traditional or ultra-traditional role in marriage, including beliefs that a woman’s place is in the home.”
At its core, being a “tradwife” doesn’t require you to always wear pretty dresses or have a perfect-looking home. You can take on traditional roles as a wife and mom while choosing to prioritize your role as a homemaker in different ways. Regardless of whether you want to identify yourself as a tradwife or not, this lifestyle may be for you if you believe:
- Being home with your child(ren) is your top priority
- Husbands should be the providers of the family
- Wives should be the ones to take care of most things around the home while the husband works
- Self-sufficiency, such as learning to make things from scratch, is essential
- Homeschooling your children is preferable to sending them to public school
You might choose to hold these values while having a home, wardrobe, or routine that looks nothing like the tradwives online. After all, social media is often a highlight reel, not a realistic portrayal of day-to-day life.
Closing Thoughts
Identifying yourself as part of a certain group is often about finding community. Many of the women who started following tradwife influencers experienced a sense of solidarity. As homemakers themselves, they saw women online celebrating and even glamorizing the lifestyle of homemakers.
While most stay-at-home moms don’t have clothing, kitchens, or social media feeds that mimic the well-known tradwife influencers, many claim these women inspire them to find joy in the role of homemaker, even when it seems less than glamorous.
When it comes to determining whether this is the lifestyle for you, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to identify with a specific group to be an excellent mom and your life at home doesn’t have to look exactly like someone else’s.
Like any trend, there are both positive and negative aspects to the rise in popularity of tradwives online. At the end of the day, tradwife or not, you get to choose what works best for your family.
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